Who am I?

I was talking with Nareg today about how it is finding out who you are. About this time in your Life, where you realize that you are not the person you (hoped) thought you were. Or the other way around. Yes, I know it is early already to say now, but I think that puberty is a time of Life were a lot of aspects change and were you “form” yourself. At the college I learned a lot and I also studied the IB. I learned a lot about myself, however it was first when I left the college that I could use the virtues I had learned, furthermore it was first when I had left the college that I learned what I had learned in Flekke!
Max and I had 4-5 hours everyday in Sahara were we couldn’t do anything else than just lie down and think. We also talked a lot about our childhood; sometimes we came really deep into each other minds, other time we just talked about “nonsense”. About all the small things in our childhood, like the first memory we ever had, the first time spare time activities, the first kiss, the first toy, the first fight or the first book. I even remembered the first day that I could read. I wrote all these small stories down, and as I wrote I remembered more and more. Suddenly the old memories got overlapped by new ones. At some point I realized how various actions and episodes in my early childhood has changed me into that Mads I am today.
I guess that is also why I writ blogs. To discover myself. I guess that is why I read books. To “find” more of myself. I don’t think that all the cards has been dealt yet, but a lot of my personality was definitely created in my first years of my Life. Hence, I also like to discover new people. I have met a girl that I would like to discover even more, to hear about her small stories in her Life. To be a Christoffer Columbus in her mind. Maybe it is sick, but I would just like to hear about how other people turned into what and who they are. The mirror looks back at me and I more or less see myself very clearly, now I would like to see more. What is behind the mirror.

I read a story yesterday about how the catches elephants in some parts of Asia. A lot jeeps drive around the group of elephant and try to get the mother of one of the elephant babies attention. When the mother (who is VERY strong) starts hunting one of the jeeps, some jeeps will come out of the hide and catch the young little elephant. The “Dumbo” will then be locked up in a little village with strong chains and get beated everyday until it obey the villagers orders. When Dumbo grow up, he will be VERY strong like his mother, and he would be able to break free of the chains, nevertheless, he doesn’t do it, because he thinks that he is very weak because he has gotten used to the chains.
What I would like to say with this is just that I think that every person has 20-30% more in himself. I am still looking for this 20-30% more energy, more “brain”, more everything. Because I know it is there. I just have to break the chains.

Okay, maybe all this was too weird for now…

Just one more little note before I go. I was helping an old French jewish man 2 days ago in the reception at my job. He had some few questions and only spoke a few words English. He was at leat 80 years old. At some point, he laid his arms on the counter and suddenly I see something that I have never seen before in “Real Life”. 5-6 small numbers is tattooed into his arm. These numbers are the numbers that the Nazis gave the Jews when they got deported to the KZ-camps. I felt a shivering in my body, this man had survived the Jewish Holocaust.

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I have 2 weeks off from my job. Matt is coming to my place tomorrow. I will be in CPH the whole weekend with UWC’s.